The Life and Times of the Watters Family

Dream A Little Dream

I had the oddest dream this morning after my alarm clock went off. Church. The SuperBowl. Mentally retarded, indigent cowboys. Naked pregnant pacific islanders. Crazy stuff!

For the record, this was a dream. I’m not responsible for it’s contents. It is definitely one of the more vivid dreams that I’ve had lately and it was pretty weird. Some parts have been edited to be a bit more family friendly.

Betsy and I are on our way to church to attend what turns out to be a Super Bowl party. When we arrive, we try to drop our boys at the child care that was helping to facilitate the party. Upon speaking to the woman in charge, we were informed that they were “overbooked” and that there was no room for our boys. I pointed out (yes, this is still my dream) that they had already cashed the $55.00 check that I had written as a “registration fee”. I asked her if, in light of this oversight, she was prepared to refund me my $55.00 plus additional money to compensate me for the inconvenience, or if she was “just going to be a butt about it.” At this point, my Dad magically appears out of nowhere and offers to watch Sean and Caleb in the play area that had been set up for the kids. The woman initially said “No.” I then pointed out that he was a) a longtime professional childcare provider in the county and that b) he was the boys’ grandpa. At this point, she decided that they could just stay in the kids’ area, even without my dad.

Moments later, we ran in to one of Betsy’s old boyfriends (this is a totally imaginary character, as Betsy only had one previous boyfriend and this wasn’t him). He was tall, tan and had long, wavy black hair. He had his current love interest with him, but still thought that the appropriate way to greet Betsy was with a prolonged open-mouthed kiss. Then, when we sat down, he and Betsy decided to sit next to each other in the middle of the couch. Clearly, these events offended me. Not simply because of his brazenness, but because Betsy didn’t seem to think it was that big of a deal (remember, we’re still talking about a dream). At this point, out of frustration, I decided to go find somewhere else to sit and watch the game.

But first, I had to pee. I went looking for a bathroom, but never found one. All I could find were locker-room facilities and women’s bathrooms (which I wouldn’t use). On my way back from the failed bathroom search, I stumbled across a group of mentally disabled, indigent cowboys (Please, don’t ask). As I was walking past, doing my best to ignore their unintelligible ranting, a pick-up truck pulled up with a naked man and woman, apparently descended from a pacific island race, riding in the back of the truck. The woman was VERY pregnant. Her husband (I assumed they were married) demanded that they stay in the “King of Jacarda” room (At some point, the church must’ve turned into a hotel). We found the appropriate room easily, as the doormat clearly said “King of Jacarda” on it. He and his wife entered the room and closed themselves in one of the interior rooms. Myself and the previous occupants of the “King of Jacarda” room were forced to watch the game on a 10″ LCD in the portion of the room.

At this point, my younger son, Caleb, woke me up to ask me all of the names of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (”What is the blue one’s name? The purple one?”), thus ending my dream. It would also be only fair to point out the Betsy’s behavior in the dream is completely out of character.

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