With the study, A Woman’s Heart: God’s Dwelling Place, ending I am really thankful to be starting a new study already. It’s always sad for me when a good thing comes to an end. One thing that makes this transition a bit smoother is that the majority of our table group is continuing on with a new study together, No Other gods, by Kelly Minter.
Our group is joining thousands of women around the US and the world who are taking time every other Tuesday to meet together and study God’s word throughout the summer. Beth Moore and her team at Living Proof Ministries have organized this unique study. Each time we meet together we will share what God is teaching us through His word. We will share prayer requests, snacks and we will work together on memorizing our summer verses. Beth challenged us to memorize Jude 1:24-25.
No Other gods challenges us to “confront our modern-day idols”. In the introduction to the study Kelly says:
A few years ago I was feeling stuck. Stuck with God, people, career, living space, finances, convictions. I constantly cried out to God, “Please deliver me.”….. I was not ready for the simplicity of God’s remedy; He wanted to be God in my life.
Though somewhat unaware, I had been depending on false gods that were at the bottom of much of my pain. They were taking up room in my heart– room God desired to occupy. Through this process I became desperate to discover who the true God was in all of His glory so as not to return to the lesser and baser things. These idols could only offer temporary relief– promising what they could never deliver. How relieved I’ve been to find that through the dismantling, God has planted, built, restored, and redeemed. He has done nothing short of miraculous.
Idols are objects of worship and can be anything that we spend more time thinking about, interacting with or trusting more than our God. The subjects of idolatry and worship have been reoccurring themes recently and for me this means–God is speaking, pay attention! Pastor Mark Driscoll preached a fantastic message on the subject of worship. Mark teaches that whatever our issues may be, all our strongholds and addictions all boil down to having a worship problem. I highly recommend checking out that message, it’s one of the best I’ve heard on the subject.
This last season of Bible study has been life changing. The studies, the decisions, the clarity that came and life experienced throughout this spring will be one of the stones of remembrance in my life. Studying the Tabernacle, God’s presence, His glory and His plan for our salvation all the way back to Genesis has been indescribable. God has drawn near and I am forever changed. I am so grateful for His faithfulness and the journey He continues to call me to take with Him. Following God is exciting, challenging, refining, peaceful, restoring, and so much more. I just love Him.
I had a really great day with my family. I am so blessed to have such a supportive and loving husband who provides our boys a wonderful example to emulate. All three of them picked out beautiful, pink roses, and a couple other very thoughtful gifts. Sean and Caleb made me cards that were really sweet. Sean brought me breakfast in bed and Caleb came and snuggled with me for a little bit. We went to church together this morning and this afternoon Cam and the boys did chores at home to give me a day off. We spent the evening at Cam’s parent’s house, having dinner and playing Yahtzee. It was a great day! We’ll be celebrating with my mom next weekend when Holly and Shane are in town.
I read Beth’s blog tonight when we got home and found some of the best parenting advice I’ve ever read. It’s kind of long– but so good! Here’s some of what Beth says she’s learned along the way:
*Kids are pretty danged resilient. Ours survived some rough times but knew their struggling parents – fighting so hard for wholeness – loved them like crazy (and sometimes just loved them crazy) and were steadily trying to get healthier and healthier. When Keith and I each came to conclusions that we were messed up enough to mess them up, we went to counseling. The girls knew it and respected it.
*They don’t expect their parents to be perfect but they sure as heck expect them to be real. They despise hypocrisy and disrespect what is disrespectful even if they’re too scared to say so. They respond well to genuine apologies and, in fact, don’t learn to extend them otherwise.
*They need lots and lots of hugs and kisses even if they act like they don’t. They need to be told “I love you so much” over and over even if they don’t seem to be listening. They are. Don’t just give in to a sullen child and become sullen with him/her. Some kids have everything to lose if you let them win. Keep fighting for a relationship and try to take interest in their interests and sooner or later, they’ll cave in and smile. I respect few parents on earth more than Dr. James McDonald (pastor of Harvest Bible Chapel in the Chicago area) and his wife, Kathy. When one of his kids became a teenager, he felt an unfamiliar distance grow between them. He became so worried when it persisted that he told his church he was going to need to take some time off and wasn’t sure how long. With Kathy’s blessing, he told the teenager to pack a bag and get in the car with him. He drove out of the driveway, and took off on a road trip, explaining to the child that they’d return when their relationship was mended. Needless to say, after some very awkward hours, they ended up talking, crying, laughing, and making memories that they’ll have for a lifetime. Now, that’s some fine parenting.
*They need to laugh a ton with their parents and be silly. There need to be lots of private jokes that only family understands. When both girls married, those were the things they recalled to their daddy and me most.
*They need to know that God is not just the Boss. He’s the biggest blast in all of life. They love to learn the wonders of God in creation. Things like how He made a bumble bee to fly even though it’s aerodynamically impossible and how animals exist in Africa and Asia that we’ve never even seen in a zoo. They long to be taught simple pleasures that cost nothing more than a moment of time away from the TV, computer or cell phone – like marveling at a sunset or applauding God over a sunrise and clipping roses from a bush and putting them in a vase. Or watching roly-polies. Digging up earthworms. Fishing for a perch. Beholding a lady bug on a tree trunk. That all of these things are wonders of God and that He’s worth jumping up and down over.
*They need to know the beauty of Christ when they’ve done something wrong and feel guilty. They need to know that they have a destiny; that Christ planned their lives for this exact time in history and has given them gifts to discover and develop as they grow up. That they are important because He’s so important. That nothing so bad can happen to them that He can’t use for good. That Mommy and Daddy can’t make them Christians. They have to accept His free gift of grace and invite Him into their hearts. That we think nothing is worthier of celebration than that and we’ll risk throwing out backs out to do cartwheels when they let Christ do something wonderful in their lives.
*They need their parents to follow through. To say “no” when “no” needs to be said. They need their parents to be parents at the risk of being very unpopular. They need parents to intervene in an unhealthy relationship with the opposite sex. They need not to be given so many material things (even if we can afford it) that they grow into discontented, narcissistic adults. Nothing is less pleasant than a thirty year-old brat.
*And when they become parents, they don’t need their parents to turn their noses up at them and act all pious like they never lost patience with their kids. They know better anyway. They don’t need parents to forget how hard having preschoolers was and tell them, “These are the best years of your life!” No, these are the most exhausting years of your life. Wonderful! But exhausting! They need us to maybe chip in and pay for them to get their houses cleaned from top to bottom every now and then rather acting like we wish they were better housekeepers.
*Their friendships with their siblings need to be high priority. This one I blew so I share it with you as a regret. I regret allowing them to bring friends along so often on family outings. Yes, they begged but I wish I’d more often said “no.” Yes, they’d have pouted. But they also would have gotten over it and turned to each other. We always had their friends around and I think it may have kept my girls from making good friends of each other for a very long time. Don’t misunderstand what I’m saying. I think it’s also really weird when parents severely restrict the home to family and don’t encourage their kids to make friends and get involved at school. Me? I think they’re hiding something. There’s something really freaky and cultish about sequestered homes. At the very least, kids don’t end up developing social skills and, instead, become really bizarre adults that can’t get a normal job. Sorry. My point is, I think there should be a pretty steady dose of activity just for family so kids have to play with each other instead of ganging up on each other with their peers. I believe in having a revolving door to my children’s friends and having tons of spend-overs but I am convinced that I allowed it so often that my kids made better friends than each other. Our best memories are from family vacations where Amanda and Melissa were all they had. Joyfully, they are best of friends today but it’s because, when they moved to different cities, they learned that nobody is like your sister. Take it from me. I have one sister that I never lay eyes on. Don’t even know for certain where she is. Doesn’t sober up enough to have a conversation. Let alone a relationship. I miss her so much. We were inseparable growing up. You feel incomplete when you’re out of sorts with a sibling. They’re too much a part of who you are. No one should be a better friend than your sister.
*God gives lots of grace to parents. Good thing, huh? Let me offer you some encouragement based not only on my experience but that of many other people I’ve known. If you give a rip and try a flip, this whole parenting thing often turns out so much better than you thought it would. Sometimes you can’t even believe that’s you your kids are talking about. You realize they forgot some things. And now you need to, too. Praise You, Lord, for parenting mercies
Cory went back to Guatemala for another few weeks. He is working at Kairos House and The Potter’s House ministries. We are really proud of Cory and his heart to serve. He has a huge heart for little kids and is very generous and compassionate.
Kairos House cares for children and families who need long term care at the hospital but do not have a place to stay while they are seeking treatment for illnesses- mainly cancer. The Potter’s House ministry reaches out to the children and families living in the Guatemala City dump.
Please join us in praying for God’s protection and provision for Cory and these ministries.
It’s not too late to join us for the Walk for Life! The walk is a little less than a month away and we are really excited to see how God is going to work through this event. If you can’t walk with us, we’d appreciate your prayers for the Whatcom County Pregnancy Clinic and if you’d like to sponsor us click on the link above to be directed to our support page.
While the rest of Bellingham was taking spring break this week, we didn’t. We leave for Disneyland in six weeks and I want to be mostly done with school when we get back so we chose to not take a break this week. We have a lot going on right now and I imagine the next several weeks will just fly by. Spring sports season is a bit crazy for our family. Caleb has 1 soccer practice and 1 game each week and Sean has 2 baseball practices and 2 games each week. The boys both have games on Saturdays but that pretty much means we have something sports related every day of the week except Sunday (well, except for Sunday, the 20th when we’ll play a make-up soccer game). It is so much fun to watch them play and see them learn and improve in their athletic abilities.
The boys have accomplished so much in school this year! I am really thrilled at how far they have come and how excited they both continue to be about learning. Sean is finding Math to be a bit more difficult lately but I think it’s good. We changed Math curriculum a few weeks ago to give him something more challenging. He is now working on more complicated multiplication and division. We learned about ancient Greece in History this week and about how the Olympics came to be. Last Sunday the boys picked out some new books (thanks Grandma Terri) and they have been reading like crazy all week. Caleb is getting ready to take his standardized test on Monday (homeschoolers over the age of eight are required to take them each year). We have been practicing test taking skills and doing fill in the bubble practice tests. Sean will take his tests starting Monday, April 28th
A Woman’s Heart: God’s Dwelling Place started on Wednesday. The homework is extensive and amazing. As always, I am really looking forward to where God and I will go together on this journey. Every Bible study I have done over the last few years has represented a new season and a new journey with God. It still amazes me that He pursues me and continues to reveal Himself in new, mind-blowing, and awesome ways. I am praying that God will open my mind and my heart to let His truth take root in my life through this study.
I have one week left of my training at WCPC. I can’t believe how fast these 6 weeks have gone by. The training has been very thorough but I wouldn’t say I feel like I am absolutely prepared. I am glad that we will be partnering with a more experienced counselor for several weeks. The Walk for Life is about a month away and I will be sharing information and encouraging women in my Bible study to get involved one way or another in a couple weeks. I am thankful for this opportunity and also humbled. I know this is where God wants me to be serving but I also feel inadequate. And the truth is, I am. I can’t succeed at anything without God’s help. My options are to rely completely on Him and give Him credit for it all or rely on myself and hold myself responsible for the success or failure that results. It seems like an clear and simple choice but I can’t seem to consistently figure this out.
I read this today and found it to be so exactly what I needed to hear. Here’s the portion that really spoke to me:
“Will-powered faith is the worst kind of faith. A relationship with God that is rooted in our ability or strength is doomed to fail for two reasons. First, a will-powered faith will result in self-loathing. We make commitments, try our hardest, give it our all, and fail. So we try again…and fail. And the only person we have to blame is ourselves. Some of us suffer from a spiritual depression because we have lived in a cycle between trying and failing for so long. Second, if our will-powered faith doesn’t end in self-loathing it is because it ended in self-righteousness. We make commitments, try our hardest, and we succeed. We congratulate ourselves on a job well done. Then we look around and notice that other people are not experiencing the same success we are. Why don’t they try as hard as me? Maybe they are just not as godly. Self-loathing or self-righteousness—God hates both.” Curtis Jones, LPM Blog
I definitely can relate to the self-loathing side of things. I struggle to honestly asses myself. I am highly critical and extend very little grace to myself. When I have operated at that critical level for a long period of time, I then justify giving myself a break by getting in a rebellious and entitled space– which is neither healthy or helpful spiritually or otherwise. I try too hard and then I just stop trying. I don’t know how to not operate by my own will-power. I feel weak and aimless. It’s a struggle for me to understand that my worth comes not from what I do (how I love, how I serve, how I spend my time, how I fail, how I disappoint) but from the one and only fact that I am a child of God in whom He delights and dearly loves. Continually I ask God to teach me how to rest in Him, to trust Him and to teach me how to have genuine faith, not “will-powered faith”. One day I hope to say that I have learned this lesson and then I can move on to the many other lessons on the list that need some attention.
I need to express my deepest gratitude to God for putting Cam in my life. Cam is supremely patient and at times the most selfless person I have ever known. Even in the midst of conflict with me (when I am being totally unreasonable) he can put aside his hurt feelings and reach out to me with words of encouragement and good counsel. I am blessed beyond measure to share life with Cam and I am sorry for everyday that I forget that fact. God has taught me so much through him. The relationship Cam and I share provides safety and stability and as a result I am much more responsive and receptive to God’s loving pursuit. So, thank you God for loving me so much that not only did you send your Son for my salvation but you sent Cameron to love me and save my heart.
How can it be that there are Jars of Clay songs that I haven’t heard until today?? I was listening to the radio this afternoon and heard this song and was so puzzled– apparently I missed that there were a couple songs on Furthermore that I didn’t already own. Anyway, this song I heard today is beautiful and maybe I wasn’t supposed to discover it until now? It does seem to be the very thing God and I are working out right now. I thought I’d share the lyrics here:
As we sat at church last night I was once again amazed at God’s restorative work in our family. Then as we sat around a table of 13 (wow, our family has more than doubled in size!) last night to have dinner, I was again overwhelmed at what a work God has done. As Cam prayed at dinner last night he thanked God “for a family that loves Jesus”. Jesus is the only reason we gather, we are thankful and that we love each other the way we do. I was telling Sara this morning that my favorite part of it all is that our kids get to grow up saturated in love and JESUS.
Jesus death and resurrection still change families, communities, moments, hours, days, lives and eternities.
“The next day John saw Jesus coming toward him and said, “Look, the Lamb of God, who takes away the sin of the world!” John 1:29
“Therefore Jesus said again, “I tell you the truth, I am the gate for the sheep. All who ever came before me were thieves and robbers, but the sheep did not listen to them. I am the gate; whoever enters through me will be saved. He will come in and go out, and find pasture. The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full. “I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep.” John 10:7-10
“I am the good shepherd; I know my sheep and my sheep know me— just as the Father knows me and I know the Father—and I lay down my life for the sheep. I have other sheep that are not of this sheep pen. I must bring them also. They too will listen to my voice, and there shall be one flock and one shepherd. The reason my Father loves me is that I lay down my life—only to take it up again. No one takes it from me, but I lay it down of my own accord. I have authority to lay it down and authority to take it up again. This command I received from my Father.” John 10:14-18
“When you were dead in your sins and in the uncircumcision of your sinful nature, God made you alive with Christ. He forgave us ALL our sins, having canceled the written code, with its regulations, that was against us and that stood opposed to us; He took it away, nailing it to the cross. And having disarmed the powers and authorities, He made a public spectacle of them, triumphing over them by the cross.” Colossians 3:13-15
“He still raises the dead. Saves the lost. Heals the weak. Sets prisoners free. He never misses a tear. Never let’s us go. He was lifted up so we could be drawn to Him. Killed so we could live. Beaten so we could win. No matter what stone seems to have you entombed, He can roll it away. Nothing can stay in the grave when God has resurrection on His mind. And, Sweet Thing, God has resurrection on His mind right now. “ ~Beth Moore
Last night I watched Mars Hill’s message from last Sunday on the Day of Atonement. Wow. Graphic and intense. It was really good though, giving a complete explanation of both the Day of Atonement and Passover and how both of those foreshadowed Jesus and the sacrifice He would make once, for us all. I would recommend watching it but be warned it’s not for the faint of heart.
Our family is participating in and raising pledges for the 2008 Walk For Life benefiting the Whatcom County Pregnancy Clinic in Bellingham. W.C.P.C. is a local nonprofit that gives caring support through hundreds of client contacts every year! 100% of donations go to provide free services including pregnancy tests, ultrasound exams, counseling and best of all the unconditional love and support of Jesus.
If you are interested in giving a tax-deductible donation to this organization by sponsoring us you can click the link below, sponsor us and leave a message if you’d like. It is not a per-mile pledge but instead your pledge is a flat amount.
Please click the link above to visit our e-walk page. You can give by credit card or choose to have a reminder of your pledge sent by mail. Or, if you would rather not go to their Web site, and if you have any questions, you can contact me at betsy@h2os.org.
Terri and I are going up to Vancouver to hear Beth Moore teach. It’s going to be great! I am looking forward to what God is going to say through her to this group of women. It’s exciting that 50+ women from CTK are heading up to the event as well. Bring it Beth!
“Family unity is not automatic. It’s democratic. It takes a majority of people in a home casting their votes toward getting along. Lest you give up, keep in mind that every majority begins with one contagious person. Filled with Christ’s Spirit, that one person can be you.”
I haven’t been inspired to post much lately. There’s plenty going on right now but nothing is resolved and when I am unsettled I find it difficult to know what to say. As it looks right now, things will be likely unchanged for sometime and I am realizing that I need to not get stuck here and fixate on what I can’t change. I have spent a fair bit of time thinking and reflecting on where God has been at work and what He has been trying to teach me. I figured it would be good to at least post my reflections here for myself so that I can remember someday in the future.
God is definitely at work and I see His fingerprints all around us and in us. Without going into too much detail, I’ll just say Cam and I have grown so much in the last 18+ months. We have grown personally and more importantly as a couple. We have learned to depend on each other for support and to cheer each other on. It seems silly, in a way, that we have struggled so much through this time of challenge considering the other types of true hardship and tragedy people face everyday. Fortunately, this struggle originated outside of our relationship, our home, our health or our church. The boys and I have watched Cam wrestle with God’s plan for his life and ultimately choose to surrender his will to God (and we couldn’t be prouder of him).
This past Friday (February 8th) Cam and I celebrated the 13th anniversary of us as a couple. I can hardly remember the beginning because it just feels like we have always been a “we”. We have come a long way! As I think back on that time in our lives I realize I really put Cam in the place of my savior in my life. I saw Cam as an answer to my fears and insecurities. I found someone who loved me for me, who wanted the best for me no matter the cost, who would stand up for me, who would challenge me and who wouldn’t give up on me (I think/hope he saw some of that in me too). But eventually my “savior”, who was really just a boy doing his best to love this girl, couldn’t meet those needs perfectly, and disappointment followed. It was an unfair position to put Cam in and it was a huge relief for both of us when Jesus was restored to His rightful place as Savior in my life.
Although our relationship began in a rather co-dependent and dysfunctional way, God has been so faithful and patient to teach Cam and I how to love each other well. To be filled with His love first and give from the overflow. I can honestly say that I think being married is the best! I absolutely love sharing life with Cam. I love that we have grown up together and have shared our most precious memories. We don’t get it right all of them time. We still struggle to be selfless and to put each others needs above our own. Our personalities and love languages couldn’t be more different from each other. We’ve had to really trust each other and see past what’s on the surface and into each other’s hearts. One thing I am confident about is that our boys know we absolutely love each other and that we are all-in — forever. That is the legacy we will leave in our family.
As Cam has faced challenges and discouragement over the last year I have been praying that God would bless him. I shared with him the other day that I had been praying for blessing for him and his response was so much more than I expected. He said that I am the blessing. It hadn’t occurred to me that as I prayed for Cam, God was changing me and that I would become an provision of that blessing I had been praying for. These last months have taught me how to be the kind of wife Cam needs, someone who loves him no matter what, who challenges him but is also a soft place to fall when he is broken (and at times it has felt like a full time job). The work that God has done in my life to help me become that person is unbelievable to me and I am profoundly humbled by His grace and patience with me.
Reflecting is important from time to time but I think looking back too long can be detrimental. I am not satisfied to stop here. I want to continue to pursue God’s best for me, for Cam and for our family.
Today I begin a new bible study at CTK, my 6th Beth Moore study. I have thought a lot about the idea of whether or not it’s good to stay with one teacher for so long. After much thought and prayer I have determined that Beth is a very gifted teacher, I learn so much more with each study I complete, I have been pretty much non-stop in a bible study for almost 3 years now (which can’t be a bad thing), and she’s not the only teacher in my life, so, why re-invent the wheel? I appreciate transparent and vulnerable teachers who are “not ashamed of the gospel” and don’t fear telling the truth in love. I feel so privileged and thankful to live in a time where I can access so many gifted teachers. I love Chuck Swindol’s Insight for Living online devotion, watching Pastor Mark Driscoll’s messages from Mars Hill online, Beth’s studies with the DVD teaching, and Pastor Grant’s messages each weekend a CTK. I am grateful that God continues to reveal Himself to me and teaches me how to be the woman He created me to be.
Christmas Eve dinner @ Mom and Dad’s house, 8pm Christmas Eve service @ CTK, party at our house with our families after church
Christmas morning @ Scott and Sara’s with Cooper family (pajama party)
Christmas afternoon @ Mike and Terri’s house
Lots of togetherness and lots of excitement. We need to remember why we gather, why we celebrate, and why we give gifts. We can’t forget to take quiet moments to thank God for sending Jesus.
It’s crazy this time of year to pull everything together. I always think I’ll get EVERYTHING done early and then just have PEACE. It never works that way! I am never done early and I always regret not having more peace through the season. We listened to Pastor Grant’s message from last weekend on Monday night and I was SO convicted. I need to choose moments of peace and decide what’s really important and what’s not. I am going to try to relax for the rest of the week and make spending time with Jesus my priority– cause then I won’t care about what’s not important! I really appreciated the distinction about peace and quiet that Grant made in his message. I can find peace without having silence.
I heard about these two elderly women shopping the other day — one was really flustered and stressed out about not being done with all of her “stuff” for Christmas. Her friend indignantly (and with a hint of sarcasm) replied, “Geez you think they’d give us more notice”. I just laughed when the person who had overheard the conversation retold it. She made such a good point — it’s not like we don’t know when Christmas is coming and how much time we have to get ready for the WHOLE year!
I have been loving the “Vintage Jesus” series that Mark Driscoll (from Mars Hill Church) preached last Christmas season. The boys and I have been listening to most of these together and we have been learning so much. My favorite message in the series is “How did people know Jesus was coming?”.
As a family we have been trying so hard to focus on what’s really important and we won’t stop trying (in a peaceful sort of way). We (I) have to remember that there is so much more to this season than all the shopping, buying, wrapping, creating, striving, stressing, and cleaning. I only need one thing for Christmas peace and that’s Jesus. If I could pick 2 things I’d pick Jesus and my family, but that’s all I really need. Fortunately I am blessed to have both at all times and so what more do I need?
Cam’s wedding ring was found tonight after it had been missing for approximately 8 weeks! I found it in one of the couches at home.
I think we both became extra motivated to find it after I priced out what it would cost to replace it earlier today.
I know it may sound silly but I think today was the first time I actually prayed about finding it. We both had previously checked the couches and hadn’t found it there so I am believing it is an answer to prayer. Thank you Jesus!
A couple of weeks ago I bought Chris Rice’s album Peace Like a River: The Hymns Project. I have been listening to it repeatedly since I bought it. Growing up in a very conservative church where we sang mostly hymns, I became acquainted with many of the great ones. As a child I couldn’t appreciate the sentiment or power of the words in many of those old songs, so I decided they were boring and antiquated. How can you understand God’s great faithfulness, amazing grace, how mighty He is, and how enduring His love is until you have lived life awhile? We need time to learn to trust Him with something precious, time to rebel and transgress to understand grace, time to see miracles only explained by God’s providence, and experience suffering to the point of needing to rely on Him alone. I am so thankful for a God that allows us the freedom to learn to trust Him. I am thankful that He is faithful even in our questions, fear and doubt and that He unfailingly pursues us.
My favorite Hymn on the album is Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing. The depth and beauty of the lyrics captivate me. It embodies what my soul feels yet cannot as eloquently express.
Come Thou Fount of every blessing
Tune my heart to sing Thy grace;
Streams of mercy, never ceasing,
Call for songs of loudest praise
Teach me some melodious sonnet,
Sung by flaming tongues above.
Praise the mount! I’m fixed upon it,
Mount of God’s unchanging love.
Here I raise my Ebenezer;
Hither by Thy help I’m come;
And I hope, by Thy good pleasure,
Safely to arrive at home.
Jesus sought me when a stranger,
Wandering from the fold of God;
He, to rescue me from danger,
Interposed His precious blood.
O to grace how great a debtor
Daily I’m constrained to be!
Let that grace now like a fetter,
Bind my wandering heart to Thee.
Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it,
Prone to leave the God I love;
Here’s my heart, O take and seal it,
Seal it for Thy courts above.
O that day when freed from sinning,
I shall see Thy lovely face;
Clothed then in blood washed linen
How I’ll sing Thy sovereign grace;
Come, my Lord, no longer tarry,
Take my ransomed soul away;
Send thine angels now to carry
Me to realms of endless days.
After a few days of listening to this song I began to wonder what an “Ebenezer” was. The reference is from 1 Samuel 7:12. “Then Samuel took a stone and set it up between Mizpah and Shen. He named it Ebenezer, saying, ‘Thus far the LORD helped us’.” All throughout the Old Testament the Israelites would set up stones of remembrance as a testimony to God’s mercy and presence for the generations to come. In Genesis 26:18, Jacob gives the name Bethel, meaning House of God, to the stone which he had used as a place to rest his head while receiving the dream of the ladder. He says, “Surely the LORD is in this place, and I was not aware of it.” Later, that very same place is so defiled and misused that it was renamed by the prophet Hosea, Beth Aven, which means House of Nothingness.
In Joshua chapter four, there is another example of stones being set up in remembrance of God leading. God tells Joshua, “Go over before the ark of the LORD your God into the middle of the Jordan. Each of you is to take up a stone on his shoulder, according to the number of the tribes of the Israelites, to serve as a sign among you. In the future, when your children ask you, ‘What do these stones mean?’ tell them that the flow of the Jordan was cut off before the ark of the covenant of the LORD. When it crossed the Jordan, the waters of the Jordan were cut off. These stones are to be a memorial to the people of Israel forever.” The place was named Gilgal, because it was the place where God rolled away the reproach of the Egyptians.
In Amos chapter five there is a call for repentance of Israel.“This is what the LORD says to the house of Israel: ‘Seek me and live; do not seek Bethel, do not go to Gilgal, do not journey to Beersheba. For Gilgal will surely go into exile, and Bethel will be reduced to nothing. ‘Seek the LORD and live…”
Sadly, many of the sacred symbols of God’s faithfulness later became idols. No longer were people remembering and seeking the Faithful One; they began to worship the monument and even defile the sacred. As awful an appalling as that thought is, I find I struggle with this very thing. I sometimes supplant the worship of God Himself with the praise for the outcome that results from His work, or, even worse, I complain about where God has rescued me to. As time passes and I get further from my crisis, my memory of God’s help thus far fades and I forget to continue to “seek the LORD”.
The line “Prone to wander, Lord I feel it, Prone to leave the God I love” breaks my heart every time I hear it. How true it is. No matter how many times God demonstrates His love to me and no matter how much I love Him in return, I am “prone to leave the God I love”. Not necessarily by an act of rebellion or anger but by distraction or laziness.
I desire to leave a legacy of faith and faithfulness for my family. I want the “stones of remembrance” in my life to always point to God alone and serve solely as a reminder of His goodness. I do not want what God has intended as a place of remembrance to become a stumbling stone of pride or an idol. I am beginning to understand that this kind of heritage does not come about accidentally, it has to be an intentional decision made daily. I cannot will it to be and it is impossible for me without God’s help.
“On that day, freed from sinning, I shall see Thy lovely face” — I can hardly wait!
Christmas Songs releases on October 16th and in case you couldn’t tell from the fact that I am posting about it — I’m excited! I think we’ll start listening to Christmas music a little early this year. Why not? Jesus’ birth should be something we celebrate everyday anyway.
So, this might be a wordy post but I figure it’s a good place to write out my thoughts on the issue.
We have been watching American Idol this season pretty regularly (kind of ashamed to admit it) but anyway, the other night they did a pretty good thing. They raised over 60 million dollars (still going up) for children in Africa and the U.S. who live in extreme, poverty stricken conditions. While I watched the show I sobbed as they told the stories of so many children who have been orphaned by AIDS or who die of Malaria in Africa. The big question I am always left with is, “How can I make a difference?” I want to be aware of what’s happening in our world and become a part (as small as it may be) of the solution.
I heard the song Light Gives Heat today after dropping off the boys at school and it reminded me that Jars of Clay set up Blood:Water Mission a couple years ago as a way to respond to the crisis in Africa. While I can’t be sure how the donations given on the AI show will be distributed, I am confident that resources given to Blood:Water Mission will be “committed to clean blood and clean water to fight the HIV/AIDS pandemic, to build clean wells in Africa, to support medical facilities caring for the sick, to make a lasting impact in the fight against poverty, injustice and oppression in Africa through the linking of needs, talents and continents, of people and resources”. If you would like to join our family in doing what we can to live out James 1:27, we’d love your participation. To make donating to this organization simple– I set up a “Charity Badge” (look right) and it will track all of the donations we raise together.
“Clean water is a powerful way to begin a large scale conversation about AIDS. The 1000 Wells Project is a simple campaign that has very little controversy surrounding it. It is difficult to argue whether or not a person should have clean water. It is also difficult to deny the equation: $1= clean water for 1 person for 1 year. And it is vital that the church begin to build relationships with African communities. When a well is built, a conversation is started, a relationship between the church and the community benefiting from the project begins. This is the seed of a worldview shift. This is what excites us about this project.”
-Dan Haseltine of Jars of Clay
One of the main things I appreciate about the approach that Blood:Water Mission takes is that the goal is NOT to go to Africa like we are the “Heroes from the West, We don’t know you, we know best”. The idea is to offer our help and treat each one with the dignity and respect they deserve. Going to be the Light.
Light Gives Heat
Catch the rain empty hands
Save the children from their lands
Wash the darkness from their skin
Heroes from the west
We don’t know you, we know best
This is not a test
You treat me like I’m blind
Setting fires around houses on the hill
But light gives heat
You segregate my mind
Burning crosses from your fears
The light gives heat
It’s not the way to light their way
Boys in holes in empty fields
Oh, how good it feels
Lower-class, and understate
Empty promise, empty plate
You treat me like I’m blind
Setting fires around houses on the hill
Light gives heat
You segregate my mind
Burning crosses from your fears, your fears
But light gives heat, gives heat
You treat me like I’m blind
Setting fires around houses on the hill
Light gives heat
You segregate my mind
Burning crosses from your fears
But light gives heat
Will you teach us how to love?
To see the things you see
Walk the road you walked
Feel the pain that you feel
At your feet I kneel,
I want to see you shine
See your light not mine
‘Cause light gives heat
Your light gives heat
Words and music by Dan Haseltine, Charlie Lowell, Stephen Mason, Matt Odmark
Commission: Count it a joy, Dear One
When life gets hard.
God is doing something huge!
He is also proving
That you are NOT a fake.
Be brave, Mighty Warrior.
Your God is with you!
When waves are crashing,
Stand to your feet,
Throw your head back
And feel the wind of the Spirit!
God is painting a masterpiece
With multi-colored trials.
Go forth and display
Divine special effects
To the great glory of God.
YOU CAN DO IT!
-Beth Moore
This commission was on Beth’s blog the other day, following a conference she had last weekend. It was encouraging to me today so I thought I’d share it.
Here’s the video that Betsy promised. It was a great honor for me to be able to share in the experience w/ Sean and I’m so grateful that he asked me to participate.
Today I begin a new bible study at CTK, my 6th Beth Moore study. I have thought a lot about the idea of whether or not it’s good to stay with one teacher for so long. After much thought and prayer I have determined that Beth is a very gifted teacher, I learn so much more with each study I complete, I have been pretty much non-stop in a bible study for almost 3 years now (which can’t be a bad thing), and she’s not the only teacher in my life, so, why re-invent the wheel? I appreciate transparent and vulnerable teachers who are “not ashamed of the gospel” and don’t fear telling the truth in love. I feel so privileged and thankful to live in a time where I can access so many gifted teachers. I love Chuck Swindol’s 
Growing up in a very conservative church where we sang mostly hymns, I became acquainted with many of the great ones. As a child I couldn’t appreciate the sentiment or power of the words in many of those old songs, so I decided they were boring and antiquated. How can you understand God’s great faithfulness, amazing grace, how mighty He is, and how enduring His love is until you have lived life awhile? We need time to learn to trust Him with something precious, time to rebel and transgress to understand grace, time to see miracles only explained by God’s providence, and experience suffering to the point of needing to rely on Him alone. I am so thankful for a God that allows us the freedom to learn to trust Him. I am thankful that He is faithful even in our questions, fear and doubt and that He unfailingly pursues us.
Commission:
The Eleventh Hour
See the Morning
Roots
Furthermore: From the Studio, From the Stage
Vintage Jesus: Timeless Answers to Timely Questions (Relit Theology)
Jesus: 90 Days With the One and Only (Personal Reflections)
The History of the Ancient World: From the Earliest Accounts to the Fall of Rome
The Phantom Tollbooth